Getting to Yes — Fisher & Ury
Core Thesis
Don’t bargain over positions. Use principled negotiation: separate people from the problem, focus on interests not positions, generate options for mutual gain, and insist on objective criteria.
Key Principlesflashcards
What are the four principles of principled negotiation? ?
- Separate the people from the problem — be soft on the person, hard on the problem
- Focus on interests, not positions — “Why do you want that?” not “What do you want?”
- Invent options for mutual gain — brainstorm before deciding, expand the pie
- Insist on objective criteria — use fair standards, market value, precedent, not willpower
What is the difference between “positions” and “interests”? ? Position: “I want $100K salary” — the WHAT Interest: “I need financial security and to feel valued for my expertise” — the WHY Two people can have opposing positions but compatible interests. Classic example: two siblings fighting over an orange. Position: “I want the orange.” Interest: one wants the juice, the other wants the peel for baking. Both can win 100% — but only if they talk about interests, not positions.
What is BATNA and why is it the most important concept in negotiation? ? Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. It’s your walk-away option — what you’ll do if the deal falls through.
- Your BATNA determines your power. A strong BATNA = confidence to walk away.
- Always know YOUR BATNA before entering any negotiation.
- Try to estimate THEIR BATNA.
- Never accept a deal worse than your BATNA. Improve your negotiating power by improving your BATNA, not by being tough at the table.
How do you “separate the people from the problem”? ? Three categories:
- Perception: understand their perspective, don’t blame. State THEIR case better than they can.
- Emotion: acknowledge emotions explicitly. “I can see this is frustrating.” Let people vent.
- Communication: listen actively, speak about yourself (“I feel…”) not about them (“You are…”). Attack the problem like partners, not each other like adversaries. Sit on the same side of the table (literally, if possible).
What is “negotiation jujitsu” for when the other side plays hardball? ? When they attack your position: don’t defend it. Instead:
- Ask questions: “Help me understand why you see it that way.”
- Redirect attacks on you toward the problem: “Let’s focus on the issue.”
- Use silence — let unreasonable demands hang in the air
- Ask “What would you do in my situation?” The goal: never push back against force. Redirect it toward the problem.
Situations
- negotiation, salary-discussion, vendor-negotiation, conflict-resolution, stakeholder-management, cross-functional-alignment, buy-in